Sorry, but hey we been busy

Ok, sorry, it's been a LONG time since we last posted,but the adjustment to a 19 month running our house and going 200 mph has taken its toll.  Renee use to keep an amazingly immaculate house, yeah..use to.  Hard to keep up with little Dr. Distructo..lol.  Maddie is growing by leaps and bounds and amazing us everyday.  She is SOOOO like her mom, both OCD/ADHA, they are so going to kill each other when she gets older. 

Maddie is such an awesome little girl, so smart, FUNNY, happy, strong willed, independent and most importantly, loving and well adjusted.  She owns us!

Renee and I are heading for a new journey in 2011, as we have decided to retire and change jobs.  Gonna be weird doing something different after 24.5 years.  Every once in a while ya have to roll the dice and say what the F&#k.

We promise to start posting pictures and keeping the blog up to date

Bragging a Bit

Wow, Renee is just an incredible, incredible person!  She manages to care for a now very mobile 14 month old and my mom.  Both are just doing incredible things under her care and she never takes a break or really thinks about herself.  We took Madison to some specialized treatment to be evaluated and they were amazed with her condition, progress and just general happiness.  I would love to take credit, but that is the same thing my mothers doctors told me when she was evaluated by specialists.  Renee, YOU ARE AMAZING EVERYDAY!!!!

Madison is crawling, almost feeding herself and just a very happy and content baby. 

5 shots and 5 Vials of Blood

Wow, Maddie had her first REAL doctors appointment today.  They did a full exam, she is in the lower 30%...surprise, surprise.  Overall they were happy with her condition and her outgoing personality.  BUT...she received 5 shots and they took 5 vials blood.  Man was she pissed!  She cried her eyes out and just sat and glared at the nurse after it was done.  If looks could kill.

3 hours in a hospital it way to much for an adult, much less a 14 month old.  Overall, she did really well and gave the doctor a run for her money while trying to examine her.  We gave her some baby Tylenol and she is back to her happy, playful self.

Definitely did not enjoy watching her get so upset and not being able to do anything to really comfort her.

Maddie it officially home in her mind and is setting the rules of the house.  She has decided that she will not longer go to bed at 8pm, it is now 10pm and not a second sooner.  The dogs are adjusting and Nikki is actually letting Maddie pet her.

Already A Month

Wow, monkey butt has been with us a full month.  Time has really flown by...feels like she has always been with us.  She is an awesome little girl, so happy and so smart.  The changes she has gone thru in the last month are incredible.  The report said she was introverted and shy, boy were they wrong.  She is outgoing, talkative, energetic, and so not an introvert!  She has gone from not being able to find her mouth to feeding herself, demanding a bottle, giving kisses, clapping and rocking out to heavy metal.  She studies everything we do and tries to copy us.  Maddie has travel from Beijing to DC, drove to FL, stopped over in SC and visited South of the Border.  When it comes to traveling, she is a little trooper!  Maddie we love you so much and are glad you dropped into our life, we love ya twerp!

Photos From the Orphanage

Well, we just developed the camera that we sent to Maddie's orphanage using Ann at Redthread.  They were kind enough to take about 17 pictures of Maddie and her mates.  The orphanage appeared clean and the kiddo's looked healthy. It was very sobering to sit back and look at how Maddie's life was during her first year in this world.  To be honest, it kinda made me sick to my stomach, not because she was mistreated or anything, but because she just looked so lifeless and just blah in the photo's.  Receiving the pictures was a double edged sword because we decided against visiting her orphanage (there were many reasons why we made our decision), but we wanted to look forward with Maddie, not look back, plus we did not want her ever going back after she joined our family, unless she chooses to in the future.  That chapter in her life closed on 16 May.

Again, I encourage anyone adopting from China to reach out to Ann at Redthread.com.  She is awesome.  But understand it is a roll of the dice, some orphanages do not respond.  You can also schedule personal shopping tours with her in GZ via her web site.  I am not getting paid to endorse her, just think her efforts go above and beyond and we are forever grateful for what she did for us by securing updated medical info and photos.   

Jett Laggin at 3 AM

Well, just sitting here at 3 AM with nothing to do!  Jet lag sucks!  Maddie is adjusting well and is enjoying being a rock star.  We are really, really lucky; Maddie fits right into our family and lifestyle.  She has no problem going where ever we want, although she does not like the car seat.  We are seeing great progress with the dogs, she is not rearing back anymore and Timmy looks for any opportunity to run buy and lick her arm.  I am just amazed by how the dogs have handled the transition.  Timmy did look a little disappointed when we went out for a walk and came back with her.  I guess he was hoping we would return her on our way out. 

We did learn some information about China adoptions while we were in China.  Per our guide, don't expect any speed-up of referrals.  They fully expect it to stay 4+ years and a huge shift towards special needs.  At our swearing in ceremony, they announced that in 2010, over 60% of completed adoptions were for special needs.  Of our group of 20ish families only 4 children including Maddie were non-special needs. 

We were fortunate to actually meet Ann from Redthread.com.  She took us on a private shopping trip and was awesome.  Despite what some agencies are telling their folks, she is great and was able to get us updated medical information and photos.  Something our agency did not/would not do.  The orphanage returned the bear and disposable camera we sent, they took 6 pictures for us.  

The Little Package Has Arrived Home!

Finally, after 4 yrs, 1 month, and 19 days, Madison is in the house!!  So far, so good!  Maddie has been a little trooper since we got her!  She has endured 3 plane rides totaling 17.5 hours, a 12 hour weather delay in Nanchang and 8 days of 90 degree weather with 100% humidity.  She is absolutely awesome, as long as Renee tells her it is OK, Maddie will do it. Right now she is not so sure about the dogs, but it's weird, they kinda understand and they are taking it easy with her.  China was nice and a lot different than we imagined.  We found the Chinese people to be very kind and supportive of us adopting from their country.  The trip was really cool, but man are we glad to be home, living out of a suitcase and eating out for a few weeks sucks after a while.  Also, thanks for the great welcome home...we really appreciated it!

NOTE to anyone traveling to China to adopt, buy the baby their own seat!!!  It would have been pure hell flying 13 hours with her in our laps.  Maddie crashed out and slept for about 9 hours of the flight.  That would not have happened in our laps.  It was nice to have the extra space and suitcase allowance because Renee shopped her butt off.

Getting Ready for China!!!

Ok, we we are totally ready to head to China and get our little monkey!!!  Renee has secured 500 pounds of stuff we "MUST" take, yet we are only allowed 88 pounds.  Guess I will be wearing the same clothes for 17 straight days. 

So, our agency told us to not ask for updated information from the orphanage.  What do little defiant Joe and Renee do...contact Ann from Redthread.com and ask for updated information.  It's hit or miss, but they sent us updated pictures, measurements and a health data.  We were so happy.  Renee is not digging Madison's comb over, but hey, she's not the only one with a thin hairline.  Shhhh, don't tell anyone, we might get in trouble...the words bite me come to mind... please don't tell us NOT to do something, cuz we will try to do it, just cuz ya told us not too.

Maddie is pretty small for a 1 year old, but has T-R-O-U-B-L-E shooting from her cute little eyes.  Looks like she will fit right in.  My niece Emily is sooo excited.  Good luck to anyone who thinks they are going to get past her to be with Madison.  We told her she will be a big sister, not a cousin. 

The new pictures really motivated us...4 days and counting.  Feels like forever after 4 years.  We are in contact with our 2 other travel partners, all seem cool and nice.  Hope they can put up with how obnoxious we are.

Finally...Finally...Finally!!!

Well after:
1,571 days of waiting
3 PCS Assignments
4 Separate rooms deemed to be"the room" where we will get Madison
3 I-600A renewals
4 Fingerprint Appointments
4 Different USCIS offices
4 Separate Home studies
Enduring 4 years, 3 months of Renee shopping
2 Lost Fingerprint scans
20,000+ emails about adoption/separation/planning (really 20,000 plus...Renee saved them all)
50+ Phone calls explaining to USCIS that YES I was born in England but I am a US Citizen...just check the damn birth certificate
1 Late referral notification
1 Week travel delay because....Hell at this point who knows
1 Argument over whether to purchase a seat or lap ticket for Madison...I lost and $890 later Madison has a seat!!

WE ARE HEADING TO CHINA TO GET MADISON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  3 WEEKS AND COUNTING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Finally TA!!!

Well, Well...seems a little miracle happened and our TA arrived on Friday.  We should know Monday our actual travel dates.  Not giving it much hope since I have lost most of my faith in certain aspects of folks who control our adoption.  I am sure some sort of delay will happen again.  I know I should be grateful, but I am sick and tired of walking on eggshells and worrying about offending "people, orgs and places".  ENOUGH!  It is time for Madison to come home and I refuse to apologize for how I feel. 

Delayed and Still Waiting!!???

Well our travel to China to pick up the little punk has been delayed.  Seems our travel approval has been "delayed"????  After talking to several families in our travel group our "BS" detector is going off in full force.  Every other family with a 4-10 LID already has travel approval or is in China.  Someone screwed up somewhere and we are getting PISSED!!!  To say our disappointment level with our agency is at a 100% is an understatement.  Up to our referral they were amazing, since the actual referral, how it was handled and now the travel delays....NOT SO MUCH.  Ya know, whats a few more weeks after 4 years of waiting?  A few more weeks is like adding another 1,000 years to the wait.!!!!

Still Waiting

Well, we are still waiting on our travel approval.   This is starting to suck.  We are ready to go!!!!  If folks can't get their crap together, don't make the rest of the travel group wait, put them in the next group.  Always some fool who thinks the world should wait for them.  It's time for Madison to come home, we deserve it and most importantly she deserves it and deserves to get out of that orphanage!!!  Maddie should not spend 1 more day in that place then is absolutely necessary!  I know they treat the kids well, but I hate the thought that she is there when she could be being spoiled with us and making us better people!!

Major Dilemma

I just realized something...I am going to be in China during the Stanley Cup Playoffs.  Hmmmm, what to do...But I payed for the NHL Center Ice package?  Wonder if they would consider overnight FEDEX delivery of Madison...Come on, I'm reasonable, I'd go meet the package at Dulles Airport, as long as the Sabres or Caps were not playing.

Keyboard Idiots Rant

Wow!  I love to follow several adoption blogs, both from folks still waiting and those that have several years of experience!  One in particular is brutally honest about the challenges and frustrations of adoption, bonding, growing up.  "Yo, she don't pull no punches"  Lately there seems to be a string of keyboard idiots, usually posting anonymous because they don't have the "intestinal fortitude" to handle the replies. They like to pick apart posts, criticize parenting skills, look for SAFETY VIOLATIONS in pictures by kids and spew NEO politically correct crap about how WE should raise and parent our adopted children.  One suggested we sugar coat the fact that our children were abandoned and suffered unimaginable loss, we should explain it was roses and daisy's and everything worked out.  WHAT ABOUT THEIR LOSS AND FEELINGS, of course, deny they have feelings, don't deal with reality and prescribe a pill to make everything better.  Ya know, start lying to your child right away, wow what a way to start a bond.   If this offends you, then I am talking about you!!!  You and people like you are everything that is wrong with our great country!!!  Instead of making ridiculous posts, go make sure your kid has their required 40 pounds of padding and double helmet on before they fall off the porch and your looking to sue someone.  We can't keep score cuz someone's feelings might get hurt and everyone should get a trophy.  It would be funny if it wasn't so true...and sad.  Those of us that have lived overseas have had to answer questions by our foreign friends wondering how such a great country can allow this nonsense to go unchecked.  Ron White said it best..."You can't fix stupid!"

Have a nice day!!!  Hee Hee

To The Circus and Idiots

Went to the Ringling Bros circus today.  Great show and well worth the $12, Emily was mesmerize.  Can you believe idiots actually protest the circus?  I think some people either need a hobby or need to get laid, give me a break.  Apparently we are not assigning enough homework to our college students.  Stupid people should be required to wear a sign full time!!!   (thanks Bill Engvall).  Anything that makes people happy, it seems a group of politically correct idiots have to try and ruin it.  Sounds like the same problem we are having with Islamic Militants......hmmmm  is there a connection with the line of thinking, don't agree so must destroy.  Maybe we should create a special state to send all these goof balls to, I'm thinking Idaho, nobody will miss Idaho. 




Tony and Anna Marie, thanks for the great day!!!  Friends like you come along once in a lifetime!  Because of you we are about 45 days from realizing our dream.  Remember, SH*T or get off the pot when it comes to adoption.  heee heee

Got the Magic Travel Package!!!

We got the magic travel package today!!  Lots of forms and information.  We are sooooooo ready to travel and finish this 4+ year journey.  Got me some ambien for the long flight.  My dream flight is for me to take the meds on takeoff and have Renee wake me 12.5 hrs later from a puddle of drool on final approach to Beijing.  Hang on Maddie, we are a coming....soon!!!

Introducing Madison Renee

We would like to introduce the most precious, beautiful baby girl in the whole wide world!!!!

Things Are Moving Fast!

Wow, the process is moving along really fast. Our Agency has really been on the ball and answering our 10,000 questions. We have tentative travel dates in Mayish. We are disappointed that we will miss Madison's first birthday. We are contemplating using redthreadchina.com to send a care package to Madison and the staff. Our agency said they do not like it, but a lot a folks do it with great success. So I'm sure my little defiant Renee will do it.

Wow is Renee nesting! If she could collect straw and build an actual nest, we would have one in the middle of the living room. It's actually very funny to watch. As usual with Renee, money is not an a concern...hee hee

Setting up Madison's Room

OK, well we started "officially" setting up the little punks room as we wait for the arrival of "Her Royal Highness". We agreed on a pale pink and pale purple for the walls, to match the Tinker Bell decor. Well my OCD/ADHD, control freak of a wife was not happy with the amateur paint job we did. I think it looks pretty darn good! As she was examining every square inch of wall for flaws, with a Mag flash light I might add, I had to explain that she was painting with Leonardo Dicaprio NOT Leonardo da Vinci.

I look over my shoulder and she has gone down stairs and returned with a sander and wants to re-sand and re-paint the WHOLE room!!! Ok ladies, don't want any negative comments but I had to play my man card and put my foot down. Needless to say...I must have said something smart because I was allowed to win the argument.

Madison..baby girl, you better be prepared for the ride of your life and come with a good sense of humor...YOU ARE GOING TO NEED IT!!

Pictures will follow soon if I'm allowed to post them..hee hee

Joe and Renee

FINALLY!!!! We have a Daughter

Finally, after 4 years of waiting we have a beautiful daughter. The photos are poor, scanned and black and white. It is really hard to tell exactly what she looks like. We are so happy to finally have reached this point, but were a little disappointed with how our agency handled the referral. A little shocking since our agency has been nothing short of awesome. Thankfully Anna Marie had a friend the spoke perfect Chinese and translated our documents. We are so lucky to have awesome friends.

Getting Close and Getting Offended

OK, well the rumor mill is stating that we might...might finally get to see our little punk for the first time next week, AFTER 4 YRS OF WAITING. Wholly Crap...maybe it will be real after all. The wait has been extremely frustrating and demoralizing with the lack of information. But...I suspect that won't matter much once we get to see her for the first time. Might have to wear depends all next week until we are notified.

Now, on to my soap box! Anyone who knows us knows we don't play the political correctness game. We are extremely open minded and call it like we see it. Anyway, I am really sick and tired of all the complaints, whining and political correctness about how to address our daughter from China. (see the ridiculous discussions on the Awesome Rumor Queen site). If we want to call our daughter my "Little China Girl" or my "China Doll" or my China anything, that is OUR CHOICE, let me repeat that...IT IS OUR CHOICE and it's our family (last I checked none of these were racial slurs). Go get your own kid. Since we have spent the majority of the last 20 year overseas, we are quite dismayed at the level of political correctness America has created and we are expected to follow because I "might" offend one person in 1,000,000. The offensive China Girl/Doll discussion has been created by a few !@#$ in the adoption community who also complain about round eyes on Asian dolls and cartoon charters. Trust me, having lived in Asia for 6 years...guess what...they don't care.

So my point is, if you have have fragile, easily hurt or offended feelings about OUR family and how we choose to raise our daughter...this is not the blog for you to visit. Every computer has that little "X" in the top right corner and if your fragile feels are easily hurt, quickly slide your mouse up to the "X" and left click it.

Anyway..if you want a good laugh and hear how it really is..this is the site for you. We have no idea what we are in for...but neither does she. She has no idea that she will be beyond spoiled and our parenting skills are slightly below rookie. Dear God I hope she has a sense of humor...she is going to need it!

Ok, We know what you all are thinking, Renee and Joe with kids???? Heck, our dogs don't even listen to us, how are we going to raise a kid. We distinctly remember Joe's mom begging us to never have kids. "You guys would probably place the baby on top of the car while loading groceries and then drive away without putting her into the car". Those were Kay's exact words! For the last ten years we always remembered that quote.

Well, for the last few years we have been discussing adoption...:"Top Secret Discussions" but never really pursued it. We bought a Two Dogs, a 20 foot Tahoe Q4 S/F Boat, a Chevy Trailblazer, a Ford Ranger, a Ford Mustang, and convertible Mazda Miata instead. So, during the first week of January 2006, our great friends Tony and Annamarie came to Sacramento to visit us. They have adopted two beautiful children from Guatemala. We were just blown away by their kids. We had some discussions with them in the past, but again never pushed the issue with each other. Renee is used to be the "Spoiled Queen", Joe, he just wants to watch sports. So, after spending the day at the zoo, we kept probing Tony and Annamarie about the whole process. We talked about it all the way home and for the next few days. Finally, Joe made a command decision, he said "Hey we need to shit or get off the pot, we are getting old". So we dove in head first.

Over the next couple of days, we researched every country that interested us. We talked about the pros and cons of each and finally settled on China. The tie breaker was we want a little girl and China seemed to have the most stable and honest system. Next, find an agency. Renee did some serious research and we finally settled on Children's Hope International (CHI). Renee went as far as emailing and doing phone interviews...she was focused on using the best agency possible. CHI has been nothing but wonderful to us. They are Top notch and awesome!!!

So, we get our application. Holy Crap, I thought I was going to have an aneurysm with all the requirements. Suddenly, Joe gets appointed as paperwork boy but doesn't remember voting on this topic?!
Renee appoints herself as shopping girl and head cheerleader (the things she does best). So, off we go. Meanwhile, Joe figures out that FedEx makes a lot of money off folks trying to adopt.

Well, all this work is aimed at completing our dossier, which is basically your application to the country you are adopting from. You would think it was easy...Yeah right! Here is how the game works, you need a letter requesting a child from the country of choice, it must be notarized ($$$), then the Secretary of State from your state must notarize that the notary is in fact a notary ($$$), then some documents must be notarized by the USA Secretary of State notarizing that the Secretary of your state can in fact notarize the notary's document ($$$). Are you following us so far??? (HeeHee) But you are not done yet, then the Chinese Embassy or Consulate, depending on the document, must authenticate that all the above listed folks are correct and have the authority to notarize ($$$). This must be done for each document.

So, Joe is now paper pregnant. Immediately Renee starts butting into my process and saying Joe is being too anal. As Joe puts it, anal is fine but us military men call it persistence! We are informed the dossier process takes about 4-8 months, yeah right. The first thing to do is formally request to adopt from China, done in 1 day. Next is the Home Study, most agencies are tell us it will take 2-3 months to complete. Yeah right, Joe strikes a deal with a super awesome agency to complete the process in 3 weeks...Persistence. We also need medical clearances, police background checks, passports, proof of finances, liabilities, complete family histories, work histories, marriage certificate, birth certificates, letters of reference and a bunch of pictures. All of these documents must go through the above mentioned process. Oh, yeah, ya know the birth certificate and marriage certificates issued at the time of the event, they are no good... they must be issued less then 1 year from date applying to adopt. So you have to order them ($$$). Makes it lots of fun if you were born overseas. Also, strangely enough, you must be electronically finger printed called LiveScan 3 different times. Now all of these finger prints go to the exact same FBI office for validation. You would think all the agencies would use the same database, yeah you would think that, but nope. Every time it cost $70 per person to have the same agency tell all the other agencies the same thing. Meanwhile, we have a CHI caseworker assigned to help us through the process. So, persistent Joe is on the phone with him at least 3 times a week. We completed the process in less than 45 days, 4-8 months my butt. I'm not sure if our caseworker was impressed or thankful I will not be bugging him again for a couple of more months.

Oh yeah, I forgot to mention that before you can complete your dossier, you have to apply for permission to bring the child into the US (Lots of $$$$$$). So, we get everything done and file for the form called a I-600A. Again, it is supposed to take 4-6 weeks to get the form back approved (this leaves you in a holding pattern because it is the final piece of the dossier puzzle). Yes, it must also go through the process from hell. We got ours in 6 DAYS...anal, persistence or luck??? So we were able to complete the whole process in 60 days.

So, off we go to San Fancisco to have the Chinese Consulate authenticate the documents. As of right now we are what is known as Documents To China (DTC). On 22 March, Joe gave birth to a crap load of documents.

Next came deciding on a name. After much discussion and Joe lobbying for the name Gilbert Perreault Jr, we settled on the name Madison or Maddy. (Those wondering, Gil Perreault was Joe's childhood hero....hey its a hockey thing)

So, what was Renee doing through all this??? S-H-O-P-P-I-N-G for a kid we don't even have yet. In case you were concerned that the child might not have all the necessary stuff, please see the pictures. Keep in mind we are 10 months out!

Well it is now September 2, 2006 China has slowed down the process so all we can do is wait...

NOW WE WAIT, CURRENTLY 8-10 MONTHS. Wait time has now changed 14-18 months.
We will reach 12 months on 10 April 2007...so we will continue to wait (and to fill time for Renee well she gets to do more shopping)!!!